Song Lyric Sunday 12/30/18 – Brand New Lover

“New” is our theme for this week’s venture into music via Song Lyric Sunday. I had a few ideas swirling around but I’ve settled on this song, a lesser known song by this band (which I don’t know why – this song is better than their so-called “signature song” in my opinion).

Anyway, I digress. In a little bit of an interesting pick this week, I have settled on this song – “Brand New Lover” by the band Dead or Alive (written by Michael Percy, Pete Burns, Stephen Coy and Tim Lever):


Your sweet nature, darling
Was too hard to swallow
I’ve got the solution
I’m leaving tomorrow
And now as I stand
And stare into your eyes
I see safety there
I want surprises

What I really need to do
Is find myself a brand new lover
Somebody with eyes for me
Who doesn’t notice all the others
What I really need to do
Is find a brand new lover

When you wake up tomorrow
You’ll be all alone
Oh the love that we had
I have quickly outgrown
I wanted to stay, but I just couldn’t do it
Couldn’t stand there and put you through it

What I really need to do
Is find myself a brand new lover
Somebody with eyes for me
Who doesn’t notice all the others
What I really need to do
Is find myself a brand new lover
Somebody with eyes for me
Who doesn’t notice all the others

Now other loves will tell you that
I’m nothing but a pleasure-seeker
For once I really must agree
I need to leave you by yourself
And go in search of someone else
To satisfy my curiosity

Your sweet nature, darling
Was too hard to swallow
I’ve made my decision
I’m leaving tomorrow

What I really need to do
Is find myself a brand new lover
Somebody with eyes for me
Who doesn’t notice all the others
What I really need to do
Is find a brand new lover

What I really need to do
Is find myself a brand new lover
Somebody with eyes for me
Who doesn’t notice all the others
What I really need to do
Is find myself a brand new lover
Somebody with eyes for me
Who doesn’t notice all the others

What I really need to do
Is find myself a brand new lover
Somebody with eyes for me
Who doesn’t notice all the others
What I really need to do
Is find a brand new lover
Source: https://genius.com/Dead-or-alive-brand-new-lover-lyrics

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Song Lyric Sunday 12/23/18 – The 12 Pains of Christmas (Redux)

Could I let the holiday season pass without featuring this song for Song Lyric Sunday? No way. This Bob Rivers parody captures the essence of the holiday (or, as I prefer to call it, the helliday) season perfectly.

The first thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me
Is finding a Christmas tree

The second thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree

The third thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me
Hangovers
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree

The fourth thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me
Sending Christmas cards
Hangovers
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree

The fifth thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me
Five months of bills
Sending Christmas cards
Hangovers
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree

The sixth thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me
Facing my in-laws
Five months of bills
“I hate those Christmas cards!”
Hangovers
Rigging up these lights
And finding a Christmas tree

The seventh thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me
Salvation Army
Facing my in-laws
Five months of bills
Sending Christmas cards
“Aw geez”
“I’m trying to rig up these lights!”
And finding a Christmas tree

The eighth thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me
“I want a transformer for Christmas”
“Charities, and what do you mean your inlaws?”
Five months of bills
“Ah, making out these cards!”
“Edith, get me a beer, huh!”
“What, we have no extension cords?!?”
And finding a Christmas tree

The ninth thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me
Finding parking spaces
“Daddy, I want some candy!”
“Donations!”
Facing my in-laws
Five months of bills
“Writing up those Christmas cards”
Hangovers
“Now why the hell are they blinking?”
And finding a Christmas tree

The tenth thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me
Batteries not included
No parking spaces
“Buy me something!”
“Get a job ya bum!”
Facing the inlaws
Five months of bills
“Yo ho, sending Christmas cards”
“Ah geez, look at this!”
“One light goes out, they all go out!”
And finding a Christmas tree

The eleventh thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me
Stale TV specials
Batteries not included
No parking spaces
“I gotta go to the bathroom”
Charities
“She’s a witch, I hate her!”
Five months of bills
“Oh, I don’t even know half these people!”
“Who’s got the toilet paper?”
“Get a flashlight, I blew a fuse!”
And finding a Christmas tree

The twelfth thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me
Singing Christmas Carols
Stale TV specials
Batteries not included
No parking
“Waaah!”
Charities
Gotta make ’em dinner
Five months of bills
“I’m not sending them this year, that’s it!”
“Shut up, you!”
“Fine, you’re so smart, you rig up the lights!”
And finding a Christmas tree
Source: Google search “The 12 Pains of Christmas Lyrics” (with several corrections made by me).

January 1st can’t get here soon enough. Just saying.

Song Lyric Sunday 12/16/18 – Another Race

“Girls” – something I totally *SUCK* at as evidenced by my perpetual single status. I have to admit I totally don’t get dating customs or social norms. Alas, girls are our Song Lyric Sunday topic this week so we’ll roll with it.

In what few relationships I’ve had in the past, I never really could understand my partners. We always acted like the other person was from outer space or something. I just don’t understand them.

So with that, this song kind of describes my lack of understanding of girls (at least in terms of dating). Thus I present you with “Another Race,” a 1999 song off of the album Europop by Italian pop group Eiffel 65 (written by Gabriele Ponte, Domenico Capuano, Massimo Gabutti, Gianfranco Randone):

It’s another race from outer space.
It’s another race away, away.
It’s another race from outer space.
It’s another race away, away.

It’s another race
It’s another race

They seem to walk on air,
And they act pretty strange.
They live around us,
But you can’t recognize them
We can’t communicate.
With their one way brain.
No matter how you try,
You just can’t understand them.

It’s another race from outer space.
It’s another race away, away.
It’s another race from outer space.
It’s another race away, away.

It’s another race from outer space.
It’s another race away, away.
It’s another race from outer space.
It’s another race away, away.

They seem to walk on air,
And they act pretty strange.
They live around us,
But you can’t recognize them
We can’t communicate.
With their one way brain.
No matter how you try,
You just can’t understand them.

It’s another race from outer space.
It’s another race away, away.
It’s another race from outer space.
It’s another race away, away.

It’s another race from outer space.
It’s another race away, away.
It’s another race from outer space.
It’s another race away, away.

And they think they got it made,
They’re right, but they’re wrong.
And they try to use our words
But it’s a lie.

It’s another race from outer space.
It’s another race away, away.
It’s another race from outer space.
It’s another race away, away.

It’s another race from outer space.
It’s another race away, away.
It’s another race from outer space.
It’s another race away, away.
Source: http://www.metrolyrics.com/another-race-lyrics-eiffel-65.html

In a way this topic does make me a bit blue (da-ba-dee-da-ba-di – sorry, couldn’t help myself) so also fitting I chose these guys. Anyway, until next week!

Song Lyric Sunday 12/9/18 – Jingle “Smells”

OK, this might be the most immature and disgusting Song Lyric Sunday post ever, but I feel it fits perfectly with the theme and if you’re like me and get the holiday blues you need a good laugh. This will give that to you for sure.

So our theme is “boys.” Of course, there are the cliche songs one could go for, but I’m going to get a bit creative. “Boys will be boys” is almost a mantra and a sort of platitude but let’s face it, little boys are just immature and disgusting and one of the things they are absolutely infatuated with for whatever sick reason is what makes up a major part of this song. If you are easily offended, I recommend you click off now because this is about to get disgusting and has some very coarse language.

Anyway, we’re all familiar with the classic holiday song “Jingle Bells” right? Well, this guy takes the tune in a funny yet gross direction. This version, performed by a guy from England named Paul Oldfield, is sure to make you bust a gut laughing and it’s something you would expect out of boys.

So here then is Oldfield’s (better known by his stage name “Mr. Methane”) take on “Jingle Bells” called “Jingle Smells”:

Something seems to (pong?)
The whiff it is quite strong
The cloud above my head
Has risen from the dead

I’m worried about a lump
That’s coming out my stom’ch
All’s not well this turtle said
“I better get out of bed”

Fucking hell, my ass smells
Best keep out of the way
It’s my bum you can hear it hum
From miles and miles away, ohh…

Fucking hell, my ass smells
I hope you’re standing clear
I’ve got some gas coming out my ass
It’s full of Christmas cheer

Dashing to the bog
To drop a yuletide log
Up the stairs I go
Farting all the way

I’ve got a burning ring
My buttocks starts to sting
I’ll take a chance, drop my pants
And let my sphincter sing, ohh..

(“Instrumental” – LMFAO!!!!)

Fucking hell, my ass smells
Best keep out of the way
It’s my bum I can hear it hum
From miles and miles away, ohh…

Fucking hell, my ass smells
I hope you’re standing clear
I’ve got some gas coming out my ass
It’s full of Christmas cheer

I’ve got some gas coming out my ass
I feel a little (queer?), ohh…

Fucking hell, my ass smells
Best keep out of the way
It’s my bum you can hear it hum
From miles and miles away, ohh…

Fucking hell, my ass smells
I hope you’re standing clear
I’ve got some gas coming out my ass
It’s full of Christmas cheer

Ding-a-ling, ding-dong (fucking hell)
Ding-a-ling, ding-dong (my ass smells)

Ding-a-ling, ding-dong (fucking hell)
Ding-a-ling, ding-dong (my ass smells)
Source: Transcribed by me to the best of my ability

OK, if you survived to the end, you might be interested to know Mr. Methane was actually doing the farting himself. It’s not a sound board or anything. He is a professional performing “flatulist” and can indeed fart on command. If you don’t believe me, check out his performance on Britain’s Got Talent.

Well, I hope I gave you a good laugh and see you next week!

Song Lyric Sunday 12/2/18 – Famous Last Words

How ironic that this week’s Song Lyric Sunday theme is last when this is actually the first such post for me from my new HP Pavilion 15z Touch running Linux Mint 19 “Tara” sub-version Cinnamon. My old MacBook Pro finally gave up the ghost and after gettting continuously frustrated with Apple over the years I finally decided to part ways with them after 15 years as a loyal, dedicated Mac user. I guess in a way it fits the theme then, because that was my last Mac ever. After using Mint for a few days, I’m a Linux convert all the way – no more corporate BS from Microsoft or Apple.

Anyway, I digress. Last. Well, I had the perfect song come to mind straight away. It shouldn’t be too surprising which one either. I’ve done good in that I’ve been a little more diverse for SLS lately, but it’s time I come back to my old favorite band again because I haven’t in awhile. So here then is the song “Famous Last Words,” a 1989 song from the album The Seeds of Love by TFF (written by Roland Orzabal and Nicky Holland). The lyrics are in the video so I’ll not transcribe them here.

That’s it for this week. Hope you enjoyed and catch you next time!

Song Lyric Sunday 11/18/18 – The Chain

As soon as I saw this week’s Song Lyric Sunday theme of listen I knew what I would post – this timeless Fleetwood Mac classic. It’s a great song with a very interesting composition.

So here then is “The Chain (written by Christine McVie, John McVie, Lindsey Buckingham, Mick Fleetwood and Stevie Nicks):

Listen to the wind blow, watch the sun rise
Running in the shadows, damn your love, damn your lies

And if, you don’t love me now
You will never love me again
I can still hear you saying
You would never break the chain (Never break the chain)

And if you don’t love me now
You will never love me again
I can still hear you saying
You would never break the chain (Never break the chain)

Listen to the wind blow, down comes the night
Running in the shadows, damn your love, damn your lies
Break the silence, damn the dark, damn the light

And if you don’t love me now
You will never love me again
I can still hear you saying
You would never break the chain (Never break the chain)

And if you don’t love me now
You will never love me again
I can still hear you saying
You would never break the chain (Never break the chain)

And if you don’t love me now
You will never love me again
I can still hear you saying
You would never break the chain (Never break the chain)

Chain keep us together (running in the shadow)
Chain keep us together (running in the shadow)
Chain keep us together (running in the shadow)
Chain keep us together (running in the shadow)
Chain keep us together (running in the shadow)
Chain keep us together (running in the shadow)
Source: Google search.

Anyway, that’s it for this week. Until next time!

Song Lyric Sunday (Monday) 11/4/18 (11/5/18) – Take the Long Way Home

So, as promised, here’s my Song Lyric Sunday post, a day late due to attending NASCAR Playoffs Weekend at Texas Motor Speedway in the legendary No Limits, Texas. My default pick for this week’s theme of take was predictably already used (“Take on Me” by A-Ha – I only dream of hitting the E5 at the end of the chorus; no way!) so here is my secondary pick and I didn’t see it already used, though it might have been.

I’m going back-to-back weeks with the same band, something I’ve never done with a band other than my old reliable standby, but nonetheless it’s what we get this week. So this week’s pick is “Take the Long Way Home” by Supertramp (written by Richard Davies and Roger Hodgson):

 So you think you’re a Romeo
Playing a part in a picture-show
Take the long way home
Take the long way home

‘Cause you’re the joke of the neighborhood
Why should you care if you’re feeling good
Take the long way home
Take the long way home

But there are times that you feel you’re part of the scenery
All the greenery is comin’ down, boy
And then your wife seems to think you’re part of the furniture
Oh, it’s peculiar, she used to be so nice

When lonely days turn to lonely nights
You take a trip to the city lights
And take the long way home
Take the long way home

You never see what you want to see
Forever playing to the gallery
You take the long way home
Take the long way home

And when you’re up on the stage, it’s so unbelievable,
Oh unforgettable, how they adore you,
But then your wife seems to think you’re losing your sanity,
Oh, calamity, is there no way out, oh yeah
Ooh, take it, take it out
Take it, take it out
Oh yeah

Does it feel that your life’s become a catastrophe?
Oh, it has to be for you to grow, boy
When you look through the years and see what you could have been
Oh, what you might have been,
If you’d had more time

So, when the day comes to settle down,
Who’s to blame if you’re not around?
You took the long way home
You took the long way home
Took the long way home
You took the long way home
You took the long way home, so long
You took the long way home
You took the long way home, uh yeah
You took the long way home

Long way home
Long way home
Long way home
Long way home
Long way home
Long way home
Source: Google Search Result.

Ironically appropriate as I wound up taking a bit of a scenic route home from the race track last night to avoid traffic. Hah. Oh well. Back to our regularly scheduled programming now!