It’s a Horrible Life

Disclaimer: The following is a rant based on my own philosophical views and is not intended to cause offense to anyone for whatever life or reproductive choices you all might have made, nor is it a reflection on how I actually live. 

So this past weekend the local Paramount Theater screened the Christmas classic film It’s a Wonderful Life. I have nightmares about being forced to watch that movie every year as a kid. It’s probably the worst movie ever made – horrendous acting, a ridiculous storyline, fictional beings (angels/god), and out-of-body experiences.

Anyway, none of that even touches my main gripe with the movie. My biggest gripe? The title itself. Life and wonderful do not belong in the same sentence together. Life is anything but wonderful – pain, suffering, disease, illness, heat, cold, hunger, thirst, pissing, shitting, finances, grief, heartbreak, jobs, war and the list goes on and fucking on. Wonderful? What a fucking joke.

Alas, none of us realize how terrible our lives really are. As South African philosopher David Benatar (PhD, Cape Town) argued in the books Better Never to Have Been: The Harm of Coming into Existence and The Human Predicament: A Candid Guide to Life’s Biggest Questions, very few people realize how horrible their lives really are. We just live under a state of an irrational optimism bias – a Pollyanna principle as it were. Nobody is immune to it. Not even me.

So, we all know the story – George Bailey (James Stewart) infamously wishes that he had never been born to his “guardian angel” (what a bullshit notion) who then shows him an alternate reality in which he had never been born and the results of those around him, which the then (very erroneously and under duress) begs for his life back.

Nah, Mr. Bailey was right the first time – he WOULD have been better off never existing. But so would have everyone else around him. His actor would have been better off never existing, as would every last one of us. At the end of the day, the fact that we exist is a BAD thing.

As for why this is, there are a number of arguments but Dr. Benatar’s are no doubt the strongest. I already presented one of his arguments above. His other argument is much stronger and does not even take into account the relative pleasure-to-pain balance of one’s life. Rather, his argument (namely that of the asymmetry) generates that any amount of pain, however small or insignficant, invalidates any upside to existence. Whereas:

  1. The presence of pain is bad, and
  2. The presence of pleasure is good;
  3. The absence of pain is good even if there exists nobody to benefit from that good, but
  4. The absence of pleasure is not bad unless there already exists someone for which such an absence would be a deprivation.

So what does this mean? It means any amount of pain, however small or insignifant, outweighs even the greatest amount of pleasure. Put another way, “And all the love and all the love in the world won’t stop the rain from falling – waste seeping underground.”

Now, this is not to say we should all commit mass suicide. This is where Mr. Bailey might have been slightly misguided, namely in thinking that suicide was the best solution. There are many things one must take into account when thinking about suicide – the means, how it will affect those around them, etc. However, the only reason for these implications are because such a person already exists. These implications become null and void if the entity contemplating suicide had never existed. Nonetheless, I remain steadfast in my view that we all have the absolute and indisputable right to commit suicide if we see fit and that the government/state does not have any right to try to prevent someone from committing suicide. We didn’t ask to be born, therefore we have the right to reverse that action at any time, with or without reason.

So was Mr. Bailey correct in wishing he had never been born? In my view absolutely. Further, had he never been born, would those around him have been negatively impaced? In my view, no because they wouldn’t have known any different. Alas, further compounding that issue is all those others were also harmed by being brought into existence, and had they never been they’d have never suffered such unpleasantries.

So what about me. Do *I* wish I had never been born? Absolutely, without question the answer to that question is an emphatic “yes.” I 100% wish I had never been born. Further, even if some guardian angel were to appear to me and show me an alternate timeline in which I had never existed, I would not change my mind. I would still wish to never have been born at which point I imagine I would cease to exist in any form.

Do I wish to commit suicide? At the present time no, but there might come a time when I do. Now that I’ve already been forced into existence without my consent (no thanks to my biological parents), it could be argued that it would be bad to deprive myself of future pleasures, because as I already exist then the absence of pleasure would be a deprivation and thus bad. There’s also the issue of hurting what few people actually do give a shit about me, for even though would have been better never to have existed and our existences are all harms to us, they might be a benefit to some around us. Nobody, not even a crusty, bitchy antinatalist such as myself is immune to grief. That much should have been made obvious in my post a week ago today.

Anyway, I couldn’t let a showing of that movie go without some sharp critcism of not only the movie itself but also the message behind it. There ain’t nothing “wonderful” about life. Though some lives are better than others, no life is good enough to count as (non-comparatively) good. That much is obvious to anyone who steps back and looks at the evidence from an objective lens.

It’s a horrible life indeed.

Addendum: I had no idea my chosen title for this blog post is actually the title of a parody film of the aforementioned worst movie ever made. This might be worth checking out.

Hurricane Harvey – A Reposted Facebook Rant

Before we get into my reposted rant, let me express my sincerest condolences to those affected by Hurricane Harvey. Abilene and Dallas/Ft. Worth are both far enough inland that I was not adversely impacted by the storm but my company has several branches in coastal cities that were and I have several bell ringing friends in Houston who were also devastated so I’m feeling the impact in my heart nonetheless.

That said, I’m going to repost a brief political rant over the storm here, not because I necessarily like to post those here but because this needs to be said. I do try to remain as politically neutral on my blog as possible, though sometimes it’s impossible. There are some takeaways from Harvey that everyone needs to wake up to. Hopefully after a major disaster like this maybe some people will wake up and smell the coffee.

Rant below:

The thing about science is that it is true and it doesn’t give a fuck about your worthless, uneducated opinion. Climate change is very real. Hurricane Harvey is living proof. Pretty much every other hurricane would have dissipated by now. Harvey is still a tropical storm and one not too far below a category 1 hurricane. 

I say this as a slightly right of center libertarian. I ain’t no bleeding heart, liberal tree hugging hippie snowflake. I just acknowledge science. The movie The Day After Tomorrow is coming true right before our eyes and the scientifically illiterate Bible thumpers in this country can’t see it. In their delusional state of confirmation bias they see it as the “end times” and nothing else. 

Even despite my antinatalist beliefs and believing that existence is inherently harmful, the reality is life will continue to exist on this planet for billions more years. We need to take care of our planet so those life forms after us can have the least bad existences possible. 

Put your Bibles down and learn some science. That’s all there is to say here. 

This rant can also be read on my Facebook page (link in the “contact me” section of this blog) and by all means comment both here and there. The bottom line is we cannot continue ignoring this problem and we need to address it head on. Go paperless, trade in those gas guzzlers, switch to LED light bulbs, do whatever you feasibly can. Every little bit helps.

We need to be better stewards of our planet than we are now. That’s all there is to say. If the destruction of Hurricane Harvey doesn’t wake you up to that, well, you’re pretty much hopeless.

You can read more at this link:

Perspectives on Life (A Rant)

Preface: The following rant has come about due to some asshole on my Facebook friends list reporting some of my posts recently (which I know has happened because Facebook gave my that “someone is concerned about you” bullshit). Read at your own risk.


I’ve recently had several debates with people (who I am assuming are Republicans/conservatives) on the appointment of Neil Gorsuch (or, as I prefer to call him, GorSUCK) to the Supreme Court of the United States. It should be very clear that I opposed his nomination but only did so for one reason: his opposition to physician-assisted suicide.

In my mind, it’s a black-and-white issue of civil rights. None of us chose to come into this world (or at least I don’t think we do) so we should all have the free choice to leave it if we so desire (for whatever reason – not just terminal illness) and to withhold access to life-ending drugs is probably the most egregious violation of personal liberty imaginable. For the government to step in and forcibly prevent people from having access to such drugs (or even trying to stop someone from committing suicide unassisted) is government overreach. To me it’s plain as day but what the fuck does stupid ass Libertarian me know about personal liberty?

Which brings me to the other topic of today’s rant: social attitudes toward life perspectives. For whatever reason, it is socially acceptable (and regarded as “normal”) to just love life and everything about it. On the other hand, to have even the slightest amount of distaste for life is seen as socially unacceptable to the point of either civilians or the government trying to force you to love it (via forcing one into counseling or forcing psychiatric drugs down one’s throat).

I’ll just be quite honest with you: I fucking hate life at the moment. I really do. I hate everything about it: my home life, my job, everything and I don’t see that changing in the future. Quite frankly I think I have good reasons to hate my life right now, for reasons I’ve mentioned previously on this blog as well as other reasons. Through my life experience I’ve come to the philosophical position of antinatalism (meaning that I think it’s bad to come into existence and that we should not bring new people into existence)** and when I debate my stance nobody seems to have any other retort than to say “get help” or some variant of that.

Well let me tell you what, Pollyannas: not everyone has it as easy, good or even as happy as you. There are more people who have truly miserable lives than actually have good lives. There are actually very legitimate reasons that life haters hate life, and if we were to be totally honest there are probably a lot more out there who do than will admit because of this social stigma around it as well as government interference where even they come in and try to force us to be happy-go-lucky. Sorry, I don’t go for that bullshit.

It seems to me that loving vs. hating life are just two sides to the same coin. I’m not saying you have to hate life; by all means if you love it then good for you. I’m not one to tell you how you should feel or view life. I just ask that you wouldn’t so readily dismiss the feelings of those who don’t feel the same way and maybe find out why they don’t feel the same way as you. I bet you’ll find out that those people have perfectly legitimate reasons to dislike their own existences.

Anyway, back to the topic of euthanasia/suicide: calling 911 on a suicidal friend, reporting their Facebook posts, etc. is pure utter bullshit. It’s not your life. It’s theirs to do with as you see fit and it is not your place nor is it the government’s place to try to stop someone from carrying that action out. If I feel like ending my own life I’ll damn sure do so and if anyone dares to use force in an attempt to stop me heaven help them. It won’t end pretty.

End rant.

**This is not to pass judgment on anyone’s reproductive choices. This are just my opinions. No offense is meant to anyone with that.

Tattoo Nightmares – “Make it as Ugly and Painful as Possible”

As a tattoo enthusiast and someone who gets over-enthusiastic about things I get involved in (I imagine it’s an autism trait truth be told) I spend countless hours watching tattoo reality shows (Ink Master, Tattoo Titans, etc.) and scouring the depths of YouTube for juicy content related to tattoos (be it first tattoo reactions, horrible tattoo typos, etc.) and stumbled across this one which, quite honestly, made me very angry watching it. I’ll take shit parenting for $2,000 Alex:

Now, I realize this is a reality show and might not be able to be taken at face value (not to mention the nightmares are dramatized for the Cinema effect) but some people are so anti-tattoo that I would not put it past them to do this kind of thing. Alas, I’m bothered by more than one thing here.

1) The parents. If they didn’t want their daughter getting a tattoo underage, then they should have stood their ground and said “no.” It would have been better to make her wait than have her wind up with an ugly ass tattoo as tattoos don’t wash off. Also “painful as possible?” What are these parents sadistic or something? Granted, using pain as discipline is as old as humanity itself but this goes far beyond just a swat on the ass (and even modern academic/psychological studies question the value of that).

Honestly, I support a uniform minimum age of 18 (at least in the US) to receive a tattoo and even caution against getting one prior to one’s early 20s. Most 18 and 19 year olds aren’t quite mature enough to make a lifelong decision like this (most, not all) but I don’t support an age higher than this because the military age is 18 and as far as I’m concerned if you can be sent to war you’re old enough to drink, smoke, vote, do whatever drugs you want (yes, I think drugs should be decriminalized as a whole), buy a gun and get whatever body mods you want. I still caution against it though just out of principle.

2) The tattoo artist. I’d like to know what tattoo artist put making money before morals, ethics and principles so I am sure to never get a tattoo from that artist. If the artist in question here had any, and I mean ANY self-respect or respect for the industry or art he/she would not have agreed to this. Any tattoo artist worth his/her salt would have said “I’m not doing this to a human canvas.” A good tattoo artist will also tell you that if you push too hard, use too much voltage, too hard a hit or too fast a frequency the needles will irreparably damage the skin and leave scars and other permanent damage. This not only makes the tattoo look like total shit but also makes cover-up work later on down the road that much more difficult and painful. Lastly, any reputable tattoo artist would not purposefully do a tattoo he/she is not proud of. After all, that is that person’s work on display from hereon out.

As far as I’m concerned the artist who did this should be put out of business and have his/her shop shut down. This is unethical behavior and even in some ways physical assault. This kind of thing is unacceptable PERIOD.

I say all this because this kind of thing is not what leads to more acceptance of tattoos in mainstream society. This just reinforces the stereotype that tattooed people and tattoo artists are rebels and savages rather than normal, good people. This does NOTHING to help our cause and as such I’d like to send a big “FUCK YOU!” to ANY artist who would pull this shit. This is just immoral, no matter how you turn it.

End rant for today.

Random Rantings For Today

Well, this isn’t a tattoo post (though I will be going under the needle again tomorrow at 10 AM for a Scottish-themed tattoo on my outer right calf – stay tuned for pics!) but I just have a couple of rants for today, so thanks for entertaining them.

First off, it’s fucking hot here in Texas, alright? We’re talking upper 90 degrees. Quite frankly I’m also very, very hot natured. Naturally I am going to do what I have to in order to cool my body as much as possible.

I’ve never really liked the shorts they have for men these days. Those baggy long things do nothing to cool your legs and they weigh you down. Nah, I’ve always been one to opt for the vintage short shorts (if you couldn’t tell from my Gravatar). They actually keep your legs cool and let’s face it, legs are legs whether they belong to a guy or a girl.

Nonetheless, do I ever get some heat (pun intended) for it. I’ve seen people snap pictures of me with their cell phones, laugh or snicker under their breath, whatever. I even had a server at a restaurant make a smart remark under her breath (that I think wasn’t intended for my ears but I heard it clear – needless to say she got no tip and a nasty note). It doesn’t bother me as that just says more about them than it does me, but it does make me wonder: why do they care so damn much? My fashion choices, although passé, don’t affect their lives any. I also know a lot of people have been put off by them at first sight and thus have passed over getting to know me.

I’m more than just the clothes I wear or even the ink on my body for that matter. I’m a person with a story to tell and a heart full of love to give and not enough people to give it to. If people looked past my image and got to know me they’d see that although a bit weird, I’m a nice, fun-loving, easy-going guy.

Secondly, it’s allergy season. I have horrible, horrible allergies and have ever since I can remember. Combine this with chronic postnasal drip and as a result often times I have this non-stop throat clearing nonsense. Funs stuff, let me tell you.

Let me tell you what else: I’m just as well aware of it as you are, dear lady in the next office over. You don’t have to go out of your way to point it out to me. I know damn good and well that the whole grinding “ahem” sound and/or the sound of mucus moving around is annoying and gross. Trust me, it’s probably more annoying to me than it is to you! I try to keep it as minimal as I can (and especially since I sing and throat clearing can damage one’s vocal cords) but it can’t be helped.

I know it might be bothersome, but cut me some slack. What do you expect me to do? Choke on my own phlegm? Yeah, like you’re going to enjoy the sound of that!

Anyway, I just needed to vent. For those who read to the end, thanks. I just needed to get this off of my chest. I appreciate my newfound blogging friends and hope our friendship can continue to grow together.