Today’s Humor Has Been Brought to You By the “Throat Monster”

So my neuro-sister and twin soul Laina and I have been having a really snotty morning to say the least. Don’t believe me? Check out a snippet of our back and forth:

Yeah, the “Throat Monster” has been kicking both of our asses this morning. Anyway, it reminded me of this, which I just had to share. I guess there is someone for everyone after all.

Hope it brightens someone’s day who needs it.

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No, You Can’t Do That (Funny/Stupid Search Term)…

You know, I’ve gotten some pretty hilarious search terms hitting on my blog over the past nearly 3 years. Some are just funny and some, like this one, are just plain disturbing and so stupid that they deserve an “idiot” award.

Well, there are two idiot searches here (and if you’re this stupid you shouldn’t be getting a tattoo to begin with) but one of these takes the fucking cake, and I don’t even need to point out which one:

dafuq

Well, I’d not at all recommend putting menthol on an open tattoo (hello infection!), but I can’t see how it would hurt a healed tattoo. That said, I’m pretty sure the directions on the bottle of Hush Gel clearly state “do not apply to the genital area.”

Whoever the fuck you are, I seriously implore you re-think your life choices. 1) read the directions of any pharmaceutical or cosmetic product before use to have all your stupid questions answered, and 2) why the fuck would you get a tattoo down there? If you’re thinking of using it for lube, you do know there are products made for that specific purpose right (K-Y Jelly)?

Man, this world is going to hell in a handbasket. And people wonder why I refuse to procreate. I’m…just speechless…

(Aside): Just A Hipster Boy Living in a Redneck World…

…I took my stick shift car going anywhere.

Seriously. Space meggings, manual transmission and a fancy ass vape mod (because I can’t smoke my cigars at the track so I reach for the next best thing). Total hipster I know it, maybe with some Bohemian thrown in.

Anyway, off to the O’Reilly Auto Parts 500 Monster Energy Cup Series race on this rare frigid Sunday at Texas Motor Speedway. See you all soon!

Random Saturday Post: Wiggles + Bagpipes?!?!?

So this might not have much to do with anything on this blog, but every now and then I find something that just amuses the hell out of me and I just have to share it. This is one of those things, and my friends/followers with young kids might really get a kick out of this.

So I was listening to some bagpipe music on YouTube yesterday and came across a few interesting gems which featured none other than the Australian children’s band known as The Wiggles, and all to bagpipe tunes I absolutely love (both to listen to and to play).

The first video I came across was this one, where they did the robot to the classic 6/8 jig “Glasgow City Police Pipers.” This is probably my favorite bagpipe tune of all time.

Then we have a reel called “High Road to Linton” which features Emma’s dancing skills as well as seemingly jibberish vocals to the music, but it’s actually not jibberish. It’s a system called canntaireachd (“KAN-ter-ack”) which is a system of vowel and consonant sounds that was used to pass down bagpipe music before the days of written music. Honestly, it’s still how I learn most bagpipe music personally. I can read music just fine but it’s just easier for me to sing it to myself and learn that way.

This last one is a reel called “Itchy Fingers” which is surprisingly easy to play. Here they did something interesting though – they added lyrics to it and turned it into a sea shanty of sorts. Very entertaining. I know they say “hornpipe is a dance for you and me” but it is in fact a reel.

Anyway, hope someone found this as entertaining as I did. Have a great day!