Song Lyric Sunday 7/15/18 – Jesus, The Missing Years

So Song Lyric Sunday is once again upon us and our theme this week is “break.” Well, there are the predictable songs so I’m going with something totally off-the-wall to hopefully mix it up a bit.

Whether you believe in the existence of God or not, or whether or not you believe Jesus of Nazareth was divine, merely a great teacher or didn’t exist at all (as a hardcore atheist myself I’m definitely in the last camp), isn’t it a little weird how there seems to be a large break in his story? He goes from a young child to 30-ish years old in just a few pages. I’ve always found that rather strange why there seems to be a break in there somewhere. What the hell was he up to in his nearly two decade break?

Well, John Prine tells us exactly what he was up to and it’s not what anyone would have ever thought! With that, I present you the song “Jesus, The Missing Years” (written by himself):

Jesus… the missing years

It was raining. It was cold
West Bethlehem was no place for a twelve year old
So he packed his bags and he headed out
To find out what the world’s about
He went to France. He went to Spain
He found love. He found pain.
He found stores so he started to shop
But he had no money so he got in trouble with a cop
Kids in trouble with the cops
From Israel didn’t have no home
So he cut his hair and moved to Rome
It was there he met his Irish bride
And they rented a flat on the lower east side of Rome…
Italy that is
Music publishers, book binders, Bible belters, swimming pools
Orgies, and lots of pretty Italian chicks.

Charlie bought some popcorn
Billy bought a car
Someone almost bought the farm
But they didn’t go that far
Things shut down at midnight
At least around here they do
Cause we all reside down the block
Inside at….23 Skidoo.

Wine was flowing so were beers
So Jesus found his missing years
He went to a dance and said “This don’t move me”
He hiked up his pants and he went to a movie
On his thirteenth birthday he saw “Rebel without a Cause”
He went straight on home and invented Santa Claus
Who gave him a gift and he responded in kind
He gave the gift of love and went out of his mind
You see him and the wife wasn’t getting along
So he took out his guitar and he wrote a song
Called “The Dove of Love Fell Off the Perch”
But he couldn’t get divorced in the Catholic Church
At least not back then anyhow
Jesus was a good guy he didn’t need this shit
So he took a pill with A Coca-Cola and he swallowed it.
He discovered the Beatles
And he recorded with the Stones
Once He even opened up a three-way package
For old George Jones

Charlie bought the popcorn
Billy bought a car
Someone almost bought the farm
But they didn’t go that far
Things shut down at midnight
At least around here they do
Cause we all reside down the block
Inside at….23 Skidoo.

The years passed by like sweet little days
With babies crying pork chops and beaujolais
When he woke up he was seventeen
The world was angry. The world was mean.
Why the man down the street and the kid on the stoop
All agreed that life stank. All the world smelled like poop
Baby poop that is..the worst kind
So he grew his hair long and threw away his comb
And headed back to Jerusalem to find Mom and Dad and home
But when he got there the cupboard was bare
Except for an old black man with a fishing rod
He said “Whatcha gonna be when you grow up?”
Jesus said “God”
Oh my God, what have I gotten myself into?
I’m a human corkscrew and all my wine is blood
They’re gonna kill me Mama. They don’t like me Bud.
So Jesus went to Heaven and he went there awful quick
All them people killed him and he wasn’t even sick
So come and gather around me my contemporary peers
And I’ll tell you all the story of
Jesus…The Missing Years

Charlie bought some popcorn
Billy bought a car
Someone almost bought the farm
But they didn’t go that far
Things shut down at midnight
At least around here they do
Cause we all reside down the block
Inside at….23 Skidoo.

We all reside down the block
Inside at… 23 Skidoo.
Source: Transcribed by me as I couldn’t find any accurate lyrics.

Well hope you learned a little something (yeah, riiiiiiiiiiight!!!) and enjoyed this little song. Until next week!!!

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3 thoughts on “Song Lyric Sunday 7/15/18 – Jesus, The Missing Years

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