What I’m doing tonight. I think it’s fitting. Here’s to a fresh start and better days ahead. Wish some of you were here with me.


Let The Postmortem Begin…

Almost exactly 24 hours ago I submitted my resignation from what is soon to be my former company. In that time, not unexpectedly, has come the outpouring of attempts to manipulate me into staying.

I knew it would happen and someone of a weaker will than I might cave into them. However, that is just not the person I am. Such tactics rarely, if ever, work on me – I liken it to the abortion debate. I remain staunchly pro-choice despite the scare tactics the opposition likes to use. That’s not to say I lack empathy – I have plenty of it. I just have the ability to have “selective” empathy. Does that make me a psychopath? I don’t think so, but it does mean I don’t let my emotions totally control my decisions.

One person in particular is REALLY trying to guilt-trip me – the “senior” assembly/disassembly director. He actually had quit and went to work for another crane company briefly before returning. His comment to me? “Sometimes you just never know what you had until it’s gone.”

Honestly, it took everything I had not to laugh in his face. I’m not sure he sees what I see in my new opportunity. It’s about more than being with family and friends again. It’s about personal and professional growth. I’ve stagnated at my current company and unless I had the time and money to go back to school to eventually obtain a P.E. certification (which I don’t – nor do I really have the desire to) there’s no more room for advancement for me here. I see a lot more room to advance at a smaller, but rapidly growing, company. With the more advanced software my new company uses I see more room to learn new things as well. The position I have accepted didn’t even exist prior to me applying for it – it was created for me to help with expansion.

It’s also about being treated like shit, talked down to, etc. by so many in this company – not necessarily my immediate supervisor. It’s about the better benefits package at the other company (quite frankly my current company is CHEAP in terms of PTO, etc.).

Jobs just run their course a lot of the time. Life pulls you from one job to another. That’s just a fact, and I feel this one has run its course. I’m leaving with my head held high and absolutely no regrets – it was exactly the job I needed at the time in my life the door opened up. In a way, as painful as it was for me to live here in Dallas, I think it was necessary to open my eyes to something. I had always said how badly I wanted out of Abilene, then I finally did leave Abilene and I was miserable. It made me realize what I would be leaving behind. I guess Abilene will always be my home.

Alas, long-term I’m sure I’ll reflect fondly on my short stay in Dallas. I saw TFF in concert (along with H&O), I met a couple of cigar gods, I did a lot of things. I hope over time it’s those memories that rise to the forefront of my reflections.

Anyway, I digress. I know my coworkers and supervisors are going to be working hard on me the next few days. That’s OK. I knew that going into it. I just have to stand tall like a man, be headstrong like a horse (cookie for who gets that reference) and not let it get to me. If I can get through the next few days, I’ll have it made.

Here’s to better days ahead.

It’s Official

At 8:27 AM Central Standard Time, I received a formal offer letter from my new company. It’s a better pay rate than I was even expecting. Just a modest pay cut but with the much lower cost of living in Abilene compared to DFW(TF) it will feel like a raise.

I didn’t even hesitate – I accepted the offer and didn’t think twice. My resignation from my current company has been submitted and I will be preparing to move my things back to Abilene next week.

I’m so, so happy right now. Bawling my eyes out, but in a good way. I know I will be much happier being closer to home, and it’s just surreal right now.

Thank you all for your continued support over the past six months. It’s been a blessing and has been noticed. I feel like I’ve been brought back from the brink of suicide once again (trust me: I HAVE been entertaining those thoughts a lot recently again).

It’s good to go home and to be with family and friends again. What can I say?

Spring Tattoo Preview

With my 31st birthday about six weeks out I’ve been starting to do preparations for my spring tattoo. For the past two years in a row I got my spring tattoo on my birthday but as my birthday falls on a Sunday this year and my artist doesn’t work on Sunday we’ll be doing it on St. Patrick’s Day which is the day right before (I was 9 hours and 40-ish minutes too late to be a St. Patrick’s Day baby).

So with that, what do I have in store for my spring tattoo? Not an entirely new tattoo but just adding onto an existing one. My semicolon, though meaningful, is quite a boring standalone tattoo. That combined with the heavily Christian conservative aspect of Project Semicolon (which I was oblivious to before I got the tattoo) and I’ve been wanting to do something different with it for awhile. I thought about doing a total cover-up but then I decided I would just modify it a bit with another symbol that is somewhat religious in nature but that is more suited to me.

That’s when I got the idea to weave some Celtic Knot through it. Celtic Knot goes back to the days of Druidism and Paganism when the Scots, the Irish, etc. were very one with nature. Though I identify more as an atheist, being stewards of our world combined with my (adopted, admittedly) Scottish heritage and that I think is so me.

I bounced some ideas off of the young-but-talented Jade (my artist for life, I swear) and she came up with this design:


As the semicolon is a little off to the side of the wrist instead of smack center, that leaves enough room to take up some space around it in this way. The dark blue semicolon will remain the focal point but surrounded by the Celtic Knot which will be colored in with Eternal Mint Green (a lovely soft color that I already have in my Pisces tattoo) as to create an additional visual element and impart some of the symbolism of the Celtic Knot. I figured this would retain the “carry on” message of the semicolon while overshadowing its Christian roots with a faith much more closely aligned with my own religious beliefs (or lack thereof).

So what do you think? Good variation? Do you have a semicolon tattoo that’s a variation in your own way? I’m curious to see how some have remixed it.

Song Lyric Sunday 2/4/18 – Standing on the Corner of the Third World

Our theme for this week’s Song Lyric Sunday is truth. Often times a heavy topic, and when I thought of how heavy and bitter truth can be (as opposed to sweet lies) this song came to mind.

When those of us who live in the first world have our “first world problems” we no doubt feel the frustrations – our jobs often suck, finances are a struggle, our home lives are often painful and stressful. The things we often take for granted in the first world are luxuries and dare I say most of the world’s population doesn’t have access to these. These bitter truths really do make us stop and think about how lucky (relatively, anyway – whether or not it’s lucky or unlucky to have been brought into existence is a debatable matter) those of us in the developed world really are.

With that, let’s pause and reflect upon that as we listen to the song “Standing on the Corner of the Third World,” a 1989 song from the album The Seeds of Love by a certain duo from Bath, England that needs no introduction on this blog whatsoever (written by Roland Orzabal):

Man, I never slept so hard
I never dreamt so well
Dreaming, I was safe in life
Like mussels in a shells
Rolling and controlling all the basements and the backroads of our lives

Fill their dreams with big fast cars
Fill their heads with sand
Holy white we’ll paint the town
The colour of our flag
Hey there little lady has your baby got the look of some old man?
Standing on the corner of the third world

Hungry men will close their minds
Ideas are not their food
Notions fall on stony ground
Where passions are subdued
Colour all the madness for the madness is the thorn that’s in our side
Standing on the corner of the third world

|: Of the third world, of the third world : | (x3)

When we gonna learn?
Who we gonna turn to?
The promises they make
The call for attention
Compassion is the fashion
Free to earn, our pockets burn
We buy for love
Die for love

Hold me I’m crying
Hold me I’m dying
Source: https://genius.com/Tears-for-fears-standing-on-the-corner-of-the-third-world-lyrics (With one addition by me)

Really makes one stop and think doesn’t it? Truth is often times hard to swallow. This song shakes me to the core every time in that it reminds me that my day-to-day stresses pale in comparison to what a majority of the human race endures.

And that’s a wrap for today. You have to admit, it’s been a fair bit since I featured a TFF song but you knew I couldn’t stay away from them forever. 😉

Resigning In Style

Being the autist I am (and perhaps my Bohemian side is showing here) I’ve been thinking of how to resign in style. Since it seems that the thumbs up is only a matter of formality at this point, I’m putting everything together for my departure from my current company, which of course includes a letter of resignation.

Now, being as I am, I’ve always been one to do things my own way. I thought about taking the brash, childish side and blaring “Take This Job and Shove It” on my playlist but then I thought that wouldn’t be a very good idea, but I still do want to quote a song in some way for some levity, and that’s when I decided I would quote my most recent Song Lyric Sunday feature – “The Parting Glass.” After all, it’s totally fitting. Then I’ll attach a more formal letter of resignation in Word format for HR purposes. My email looks something like this:



Of all the comrades that e’er I had
They’re sorry for my going away
And all the sweethearts that e’er I had
They’d wish me one more day to stay
But since it fell unto my lot
That I should rise and you should not
I’ll gently rise and softly call
Good night and joy be to you all

In thinking about how I should break this news, I thought of this old Scottish farewell song and decided it would be fitting to quote it. It has been a real privilege to have worked with you all for the past two and a half years. Alas, the time has come for me to move onto greener pastures (and much closer to home). As noted in my attached letter of resignation, my last day in the office will be this Friday while my official last day will be Monday the 26th after all my banked PTO is expended.

So fill to me the parting glass
And drink a health whate’er befalls
Then gently rise and softly call
Good night and joy be to you all

I wish all of you the very best of luck in the future.


That will be what the “general population” within my division receive. My scathing list of grievances will only be shared with HR at corporate and the local office HR department and that’s more for purposes of having a record should, for whatever reason, my new job just not work out and I have to file for unemployment.

One way or another, things are looking up for me. I’ll let you all know Monday when I get the official decision!

Veni Vidi Vici

Just thought you all would want to know I rocked the fucking house. I tore it up.

I will know for sure Monday but I’ve got a great feeling. I’d be shocked if they said no.

As soon as I get the thumbs up I will submit my resignation. I’m feeling great.

In the meantime I’m going to enjoy the moment with a Padron 1926 #1 and an Oskar Blues Ten Fidy (both reviewed previously).

Oh yeah baby!!!!