To say my week was absolutely terrible would be an absolute understatement. It started off bad, got worse then turned utterly miserable.
Work has been absolutely miserable for several weeks lately but it’s worse than ever. I just keep getting shit piled up on top of what I have, and to add insult to injury on Wednesday my total tyrant of a boss fired the operations manager (he claims he “resigned” but it was a forced resignation so what’s the fucking difference?) and then today my only emotional support system in this fucking company resigned effective St. Patrick’s Day (for totally understandable reasons and I don’t fault her at all, but still it sucks).
My job has long been a source of stress for me, for I never really much liked it anyway and I honestly get the feeling my tyrant of a supervisor is using me in a way. I think he sees me as easily manipulated and his personal pawn. Of course, he is a textbook psychopath (smooth talking, charming, lies cooly and easily) and I know not to get too close to him lest I get fucked over but the use and abuse of not only me but the other employees I am in immediate contact with is becoming more and more pervasive and I don’t know how much longer I’m going to last either. I was really hoping to hold on a couple of more years so that my bankruptcy will fall off my record and I can look into getting loans to launch Leaf and Barrel (my concept business I outlined here) but I no longer I think I can make it that long, which sucks because despite this one toxic person the company I work for is a great company with fantastic benefits.
Honestly, the more I work for this man the more I think his kind sees people like me as easy prey. Not surprising, people like him often see those of us on the autism spectrum and/or with other disabilities as easy prey because they know we can’t just go out and get new jobs on a whim. They know without our jobs we’re practically dead meat. He knows he can get me to do anything he wants. He pretends to care about me and have a “soft spot” for me but I see right through his charade and there will come a point soon where I call him out on it. If it costs me my job so be it, he needs to be exposed for the snake he is.
Alas, that brings me to another tangent I wish to take this on: my supervisor made me an offer at the end of 2016 that almost sounded too good to be true and now I’m convinced it really is. My boss literally offered to DOUBLE my wages, but on one condition: I transfer to his local office. See, for whatever reason when my company hired this man to be the director of crawler crane operations they didn’t make him move to a branch location. Oh no, they let him stay in his hometown just outside of Detroit and practically work from home! Must be nice to have that kind of privilege eh? I guess he’s just such a god in this industry he’s allowed whatever demand he wants. So yeah, double my pay, fly me home every other month to visit my family (as if the company would be OK with that) but on the condition I move 1,300+ miles away from my family. Oh, and with the way things are going he’d probably fire me within a year (when he no longer needs me to be his pawn and he has no more use for me) at which point I’d REALLY be fucked. Yeah, in light of recent events I’m glad I turned his offer down.
It has never been more clear that I need an out, but there is a possibility I might have one come up soon should the stars align properly for me. The manager of the CAD/engineering department (a position at the corporate office in Houston) is retiring at the end of the month. I hope they accept internal applications for the position because if they do I am so applying for the job. I see no downside to taking such a position: major pay bump, relocation to a city that I’d probably fit me better and no longer answering to my current supervisor? Yeah, that would at least make things tolerable in the meantime until I am able to launch L&B (which let’s face it, Houston would be a more prime location for that concept than podunk Abilene).
Anyway, all I know is I am so ready for some ink therapy. As my 30th birthday is two weeks from tomorrow, it will be happening soon. Stay tuned, you’ll be among the first to see my new ink!