Who Wears Short Shorts? (Or, More Accurately, Who Hates Long Shorts?) 

​“Don’t get strung out by the way I look; don’t judge a book by its cover.” – Tim Curry (as Dr. Frank-n-Furter). 

So I was over reading Anonymously Autistic‘s blog (you should really check it out!) awhile back and I happened across her post from a few days ago where she spoke of her extreme dislike of socks. Well socks don’t bother me, but it reminded me of my biggest pet peeve (you could even call it a “major psychotic hatred” truth be told) when it comes to the world of clothing/fashion: men’s shorts. 

Chalk it up to an autistic thing or a sensory processing disorder or whatever, but I cannot stand the current style(s) of men’s shorts. I find them annoying and truth be told to me they defeat the purpose of shorts to begin with. You might as well just wear pants. 

So what’s this guy to do? Just sit there and take it? Well, those who really know me know that’s never been the kind of person I am. It should be plain as day from my Gravatar picture and my Facebook profile picture that I proudly and shamelessly rock the short shorts (usually around a 2” inseam). So what if the powers that be (who exactly?) say men aren’t supposed to? Who makes these arbitrary “rules” anyway? 

Now, it seems like most people I encounter on a daily basis don’t give a shit. This is especially true in more progressive, liberal big cities where I’m just one of the crowd. I do, however, get more than my fair share of insults in highly conservative, closed-minded Abilene TX (so much I’ve actually been kicked out of a bar because the owner didn’t like them, but I told that story already). Hell, I even got my fair share of ridicule at the tattoo convention a few weeks ago (the last place I expected it – 1. bare legs, boobs and butts are commonplace in tattoo parlors and 2. you have to be somewhat of a misfit to have tattoos to begin with). Most recently when a political discussion I got involved in on Facebook turned ugly several participants just had to take jabs at my profile picture (most notably one of them said “you should save your $0.02 and put them toward a new pair of shorts”). 

Again, I imagine it is a sensory processing issue induced by autism but I am a very hot natured person. Like I’ll be in short sleeves and short shorts well down into the 50sF/10sC and be perfectly comfortable. People around here look at me like I’m crazy (they can’t handle the cold) but it’s true. When the bosses are gone at work I’ll even wear them to work, much to the amusement of some of my coworkers (we don’t have a hard and fast dress code, but there are things that won’t fly). 

Whatever the case, I refuse to change just to suit the aesthetic preferences of others. Chalk it up to what you will (be it autism, sensory processing disorder or just plain weirdness) but in a non-business setting comfort comes before everything else and if that means rocking shorts that barely cover my butt then that’s what I’m going to do. Even neurotypical people have certain preferences when it comes to clothing (that might not always be the “in” thing), so why can’t we? Why worry about petty stuff like this when there are bigger fish to fry? 

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3 thoughts on “Who Wears Short Shorts? (Or, More Accurately, Who Hates Long Shorts?) 

  1. I’m sorry you have to deal with people’s callous and rude remarks over such a thing as one’s preferences in clothing style. That’s what you like and part of what makes you *you* and the world should have it no other way! 🙂

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