The Mixed Blessing of Singleness

“The owner of a lonely heart is much better than the owner of a broken heart.” – Yes.

I make no bones about my singleness. In my time I have only had three girlfriends, none of whom lasted any longer than six months. I’m 29 years old and in my 29 years on this planet, I have spent less than a year in a relationship with someone. Pretty bad, ain’t it?

Well no so much in my opinion. I find I function much better when I am not in a relationship. Let’s face it: it’s awfully hard to date and/or be married us spectrumites. Most people can’t handle it. I read somewhere (though I can’t remember where) that those on the autism spectrum only have about a 10% chance at ever having a successful marriage. Honestly, I believe it.

Now, I’m not really complaining about my marital status. I quite enjoy the freedom that comes from being single. Hell, if anything being married would put constraints on my inked journey. My most recent ex made it very clear to me that she would have dumped me immediately after getting my first tattoo (she HATES tattoos). I guess it’s lucky she got the baby rabies when she did (thus forcing us to part ways – I am adamantly no children; I am not suited to be a parent and it goes against my philosophical convictions to reproduce).

At times though, it is kind of, well, annoying being single (not internally, but externally). I’m often asked at the restaurants I frequent why I dine alone. As if it was any of their business, but no, I don’t have a mate to dine with. And then there’s my naggy immediate family who claim they’re going to buy me a membership to eHarmony if I don’t get married within the next year. What I’d like to know is what business is it of theirs whether or not I ever get married? Hell, what business is it of anyone?

Sure, I do get lonely sometimes, but marriage is no guarantee you’ll never be lonely so that’s a poor argument. I mean, I guess if the right person comes along sometime I’ll consider marrying but I just don’t see that happening anytime soon, if ever. I’m not saying it won’t ever happen, but someone meeting all my requirements in a mate is damn near impossible and I’m not one to “settle.” Perhaps it’s one of my autistic tendencies, but it’s either all or nothing for me.

So please, don’t pity my singleness. I promise you I’m OK with it. I’d much rather be single than in a toxic relationship (which all three of my relationships wound up being) or have to change any aspect of myself for the sake of another person. Perhaps my toxic relationships have soured me on the idea of romance at least for the time being, but I’ve never been one to seek a romantic partner. In all three cases it was the other party who initiated the relationship, not me, and that’s likely how it always will be.

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