Song Lyric Sunday 5/21/17 – Rhiannon

Before we get going here, 5/21/17 is my one-year WordPress anniversary. Has it been that long already? Obligatory anniversary post to come later today.

This week’s topic for Song Lyric Sunday is to post a song with a person’s name in the title or lyrics. Well, this is one of those admittedly I didn’t put any effort into at all and someone else will probably duplicate this one but that’s OK. I’ve had a miserable week, I’m emotionally exhausted and it is what it is. So sue me.

So the first song I thought of was this lovely little tune from Fleetwood Mac. I have to admit, Fleetwood Mac has been a favorite of mine from childhood. There’s just something so captivating about their sound; from the vocal harmonies to the chord structure of their music; it’s unlike anything else really.

Here then is “Rhiannon” by Fleetwood Mac (written by Stevie Nicks):

Rhiannon rings like a bell through the night
And wouldn’t you love to love her?
Takes to the sky like a bird in flight
And who will be her lover?
All your life you’ve never seen a woman taken by the wind
Would you stay if she promised to you heaven?
Will you ever win?

She is like a cat in the dark
And then she is the darkness
She rules her life like a fine skylark
And when the sky is starless
All your life you’ve never seen a woman taken by the wind
Would you stay if she promised to you heaven?
Will you ever win?
Will you ever win?

Rhiannon
Rhiannon
Rhiannon
Rhiannon

She rings like a bell through the night
And wouldn’t you love to love her?
She rules her life like a bird in flight
And who will be her lover?
All your life you’ve never seen a woman taken by the wind
Would you stay if she promised to you heaven?
Will you ever win?
Will you ever win?

Rhiannon
Rhiannon
Rhiannon

Oooooh
Taken by
Taken by the sky
Taken by
Taken by the sky
Taken by
Taken by the sky

Dreams unwind
Love’s a state of mind
Dreams unwind
Love’s a state of mind
Source: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/fleetwoodmac/rhiannon.html

There’s a wrap for this week. As always, hope you liked it. If you thought this pick sucked let me know too so I can try to do better in the future. ūüėČ

I’m Unlovable, and I’m OK With That

So today I attended the wedding ceremony of my tattoo artist. It was a rather unconventional wedding and though our relationship leans more toward the professional side of things (artist-canvas) rather than a totally peer-to-peer friendship it was hard to contain my emotions and, well, I did shed a tear.¬†It was hard not to be happy for her and her newlywed husband.¬†The two are, to be quite blunt,¬†perfect for each other and it does make me happy to see two (or more, if that’s your thing) people make that commitment to each other.

I’ll be the first to admit though that I don’t much believe in the existence of soulmates. I do believe there is a small subset of individuals with whom a person would be a match for personality, interest and life-goal wise but the notion of soulmates just doesn’t jive with me. What also does not jive with me is the notion of “someone for everyone.”

Call me bitter, cynical or what have you, but I do not believe that every person on this planet has a compatible match or matches. I’m one such person, and you know what? I’m perfectly OK with that.

The longest any of my romantic relationships I’ve had last is six months and that was six months too long. I’ve always been miserable in relationships, including when I was dating someone who, from an outsider’s perspective, was almost a perfect match for me. Relationships make me feel handcuffed, stifled and suffocated. I just never have felt like I can be myself when dating anyone because if I was entirely myself I’d push the other person away.

When I finally realized that is when I accepted that I am, for all intents and purposes, unlovable, and that’s not a defect or a problem with me (despite society’s thinking single people are somehow broken or defective), nor is it a defect or problem of my neurological orientation (yes, I’m gradually warming up to the term) as plenty of people on the autism spectrum are happily married. I’m just not cut out to have a romantic relationship, and that’s perfectly OK.

Just because I’m not cut out for that doesn’t mean I can’t have a fulfilling life. That’s the thing I wish society would recognize about single people and why I wish the stigma that comes along with being a single/never-married middle-aged single adult would go away. There’s nothing objectively wrong with the bachelor/bachelorette lifestyle.

Again, I think marriage is a beautiful thing, regardless of how many parties are involved and the sexes of the parties (let it be known I am a full supporter of same-sex and polyamorous marriage so long as all parties are consenting adults). My problem is not with dating/relationships/marriage in general. My problem is applying that to my own life. As beautiful as it is, it’s just not the right life choice for me, and I’ve accepted that and the fact that the people who would judge me for that are the problem and not me.

Scotch Review: Glenlivet Peated Nadurra

nadurra

I think this might be the first Scotch review on this site. That’s OK; it’s about damn time!

I’ll be the first to admit I love, love, LOVE a good single-malt Scotch. I got turned onto it before I was of legal drinking age when I joined a pipe band and was baptized by fire into it. It was love at first sip and I’ve been in love ever since.

I have a particular liking for so-called “cask strength” Scotches. Most are diluted down to a proof of the maker’s desire (but with a minimum of 80 proof) with distilled water. Cask strength Scotches are not – they go straight from the cask to the bottle, hence resulting in a higher and variable ABV from batch to batch.

As such, needless to say Glenlivet Nadurra has always been a favorite of mine. Rich, full-bodied and hot finish, it’s always satisfied me. For the first time since being released, I’ve now found this peated version of it locally and I just had to try it. This particular batch is 61.5% ABV. Here’s the description on the bottle:

nadurra2

So going into it, what I was expecting was Nadurra with a coloration of peaty smokiness. Lo and behold, I was exactly right.

Color is a beautiful golden amber. Leaves lots of lacing on the glass when swirled. The nose was immediately met with the characteristic burn of a cask-strength Scotch with overtones of citrus, vanilla and, predictably, peat. The attack is greeted with a rich honey sweetness and a subtle spiciness with a touch of fruitness. Beautiful smoky/peaty and hot finish with the ever slightest hint of dark chocolate. You can feel this one in your sinuses.

I would say I like this one even a little bit better than the regular Nadurra. It’s got the peat but it’s not so heavily peated as to be offputting to those who don’t prefer super peaty Scotch. I’d describe it as very well-rounded. This would go beautifully with a Padron 1926 Maduro, Blanco Nine Lancero or a CO Final Third cigar.

I absolutely love this Scotch. It’s everything I love about the Nadurra but the peat adds a little something extra to it. Of course, I love peated Scotch and non-peated both and this one kind of gives you the best of both worlds. I can’t wait to pair it with a cigar.

Do yourself a favor and check this one out. Rating: 5/5.

 

Like The Great Falls…

…is the bedrock of my life eroding beneath me??? Eroding, eroding,¬†eroding??? (Cookie for who gets the reference.)

Well, at least I can say I gave it my best shot, right? Alas, right now all roads lead back to the broke, unemployed Lynn of about two years ago. It’s not something I ever hoped would happen to me (as much as I bitch about how badly my job sucks) but that scary thought is becoming reality unbelievably quickly.

I figured I’d give looking at relocating to the DFW metroplex one last shot. I really hoped it would work. I found some reasonably priced apartments (can’t afford much as my student loans are killing me!) but lo and behold all the ones that were in my price bracket are so-called “income restricted” properties and my compensation was too much. Thanks a lot, Democrats. Nothing like penalizing someone for making money.

Anyway, as stupid as it sounds everything else would have me going backwards and losing money with the current structure of my student loan repayment program (which is based only on gross income and does not take expenditures into consideration) combined with what would be running me for rent/utilities I’d be losing money every month. At least if I have zero income my student loans freeze entirely and I’d only really have my car payment and insurance to worry about (one of the nice things about living on the same property as your parents). Fucked up, ain’t it?

My only hope is that the competition snatches up the office that I was working out of and is now being vacated. I know the branch manager at the competition and I know if he has a spot for me he’d give me a job in a heartbeat. I have no qualms going to work for the competition when essentially forced out by the company I worked for. After all, non-competition agreements are not binding if you are fired or laid off.

Alas, if that door is also closed I’m basically up shit creek until who knows when. Ugh, I’ve never been one to get the breaks. Everything always seems to go against me.

And people wonder why I say, if given my choice, I’d have chosen to not have been born. Things would definitely be easier if I hadn’t.

Blogger Recognition Award!!!

Well how about that? I was nominated by Laina Eartharcher over at The Silent Wave Blog for the Blogger Recognition Award. To paraphrase former Vice President Joe Biden when former President Barack Obama bestowed upon him the Presidential Medal of Freedom; “I don’t deserve this, but I know it came from the heart.” Laina has become a very good personal friend of mine both on and off WP so for her to nominate me despite some very core differences in perspective and philosophy is beyond anything I could imagine.

The Rules:

  1. Thank the blogger who nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
  2. Write a post to show your award.
  3. Give a brief story of how you blog started.
  4. Give two pieces of advice to new bloggers.
  5. Select 15 other bloggers for this award.
  6. Comment on each blog to let them know you’ve nominated them and a link to the post you created.

Well Laina, thanks and you know I love ya. You’ve put up with a lot of my personal bullshit lately in the form of late-night text messages and such so it means more to me than you can imagine.

Brief story of how my blog started:

I’ve blogged off and on about various things over the years and when my former blogging home (Xanga) went under I went without blogging for a couple of years and missed it so I tried to find something else to blog about.

I started my blog almost a year ago with the primary intention of it being like a tattoo journal where I documented my own tattoo experiences (particularly as a late starter into ink) and posted inspirations for future tattoos. Of course, as my blog grew so did the topics; ranging from my struggles as an autistic pilot wannabe to some of my other interests and hobbies. I’m still what I would call invisible¬†in the world of WP with a mere 151 followers (down significantly due to recent angry debates with many of those in my “tribe”) but it continues to grow slowly.

Two pieces of advice for new bloggers: 

  1. Be true to yourself. There’s no need to be fake or force the words.
  2. Networking and connections is key. Make sure to comment on blogs and don’t underestimate the value of the “First Friday” prompt in pitching a brand new blog.

Nominations: 

Picking just 15 seems a bit difficult and I know some others have been nominated by mutual friends so I’m going to try to not duplicate but if I do you have to forgive me.

  1. Michelle over at mishie1. She’s been a long-time blogging friend of mine since my days on Xanga.
  2. Rachel McKee over at Illuminated Literation. She was one of my early followers and  really helped to put me on the map. I owe her bigtime. Oh, and her writing is exquisite.
  3. Anjali Soni over at Eloraquence. Another one of my early followers who was instrumental in pitching my blog. Thank you too!
  4. Elizabeth over at The Well-Informed Namer. It’s always interesting learning the history and etymology of various names worldwide.
  5. Helen over at This Thing Called Life One Word at a Time. Song Lyric Sunday is so much fun and thanks for hosting it!
  6. Kirst over at Kirstwrites. A nod to you for being supportive during my tough times and for your writing talent.
  7. Helen over at Autistic Innerspace. I always love the comics and can relate to them on a number of levels.
  8. Anna over at Anonymously Autistic. I find your openness and brutal honesty about your personal experiences incredibly refreshing.
  9. Sailajap over at Speaking Up for Myself. You’re an amazing writer and a great friend.
  10. Aryan over at Welcome to my Aspie World. Newer blogger here, figured you could use some publicity and love. ūüėČ
  11. KK over at Her Headache. How could I not nominate a fellow Tears for Fears superfan? Oh, and I love reading about your life and struggles as a person with a disability different from my own.
  12. The nameless person behind Depression is the Enemy. As a fellow sufferer of clinical depression I know what it’s like and admire what you’re doing to try to help and inspire others with the condition. It’s tough for sure!
  13. Albysaurus over at Success In Selflessness. Your promotion of mental health awareness, volunteering and serving others is inspirational.
  14. The nameless Wavering Parisian. I know what it’s like to endure similar nonsense to what you have and admire your courage to speak out about it and carry on despite the difficulties you’ve had.
  15. Sara over at The Perfect Panic. One of the earliest blogs I followed when I was in an anxious time of my life and who always provides me with ideas to reduce my stress level.

So there we have it; I’ve honored the conditions of this award. It’s not my first award and hopefully not my last (not that I deserved any of them). I’ve made a lot of enemies in recent months on here so to know someone thinks enough of me to nominate me means a lot. Thanks, Laina. The nomination and your friendship mean more to me than you’ll ever know.

Addendum: Interestingly enough this is also post #200 on my blog. Fancy that.

Beer/Cigar Review – Sockdolager Bea-3 and Padron 1964 #4 Natural

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After the bullshit I’ve been through recently last¬†night¬†I just needed some decompression time. I could feel a meltdown coming¬†on (one of the things that really sucks about being on the autism spectrum)¬†so I figured it was time for me to just chill and unwind to prevent it from happening.

Alas,  I did just that by chilling at a new local brewery. Luckily they have tables outside on the lawn so I could bring a great cigar along as well to puff on while enjoying a lovely spring night in Abilene (and it was lovely too Рupper 70s). Nothing (except for getting tattooed) calms and centers me quite like a drink and a smoke. As such, before heading over to the brewery I stopped by my local tobacconist and picked up a rather tasty treat that I figured would go great with my favorite Sockdolager beer and boy was I right.

Sockdolager Brewing Company is a relatively new brewery in my hometown of Abilene, Texas. I’m a big believer in supporting local businesses (after all, small local businesses are the bread and butter of the economy, contrary to what the big corporations want you to believe) so I was dying to try this place out when it opened. Though the tasting room is only open on Saturdays, I can always rely on this place when I just need to unwind and have a few.

So first, about the beer. Bea-3 is an American Oatmeal Stout. It features a rich dark reddish-brown pour with a tan head that retains nicely. Despite its low ABV (sub-5%) it’s still packed with delicious flavors of oats (predictably), roasted malt, chocolate and coffee with a delicate hop finish. Medium in body and in carbonation so it drinks super smooth. An excellent session stout in every respect in that it has a lot of flavor but won’t weigh you down so you can kill several and still drive home afterward. Rating – 4.5/5.

As far as the cigar, well, it’s a Padron. It needs no introduction. This natural stick comes in at 6.5″ x 60RG so it’s definitely a large one (which I was wanting for a nice long smoke). ¬†Great construction (with the exception of that silly single cap; but I’ve never had one unravel on me when cut with the Cuban Crafters Perfect Cutter), good burn line for a 60 requiring only one small touch-up entering the final third. Plentiful rich, medium-full bodied smoke featuring hints of cocoa, sweet cream and a smooth, earthy finish. The last third brings in a hint of a light roast coffee and ramps up the nicotine strength to a medium. An hour and a half burn time to the band where the smoke went too warm for my liking. Rating – 4.5/5.

The beer and the cigar paired beautifully together as I was hoping they would. Neither overwhelmed the other and the flavor profiles complemented each other unbelievably well. This is definitely a pairing I’ll be keeping for future.

Again, just another reminder to support your local businesses. It’s good for the economy, good for them and good for you. As a future local small business owner, right now I’m making sure to pay it forward because I know how important it is.

Song Lyric Sunday 5/14/17 – Every Rose Has Its Thorn

So a song with a flower in the title or lyrics? Could you have made it any easier for me in this week’s Song Lyric Sunday? I was worried you’d go with Mother’s Day as the theme, which would have been difficult for me as my relationship with my mother is awkward and strange at best. Between my general distaste for life,¬†antinatalist philosophical views/constant¬†wishing I had never existed at all (thus making parent/child relationships awkward to begin with) and the fact both of my parents were ill-equipped to deal with a special needs child, that is a sore subject and I’ll have to skip on the bonus points I’m afraid.

Alas, flower in the title is easy. I’ve always been a sucker for 80s hair band power ballads. That general style not so much, but I’ve always loved power ballads. Those are like the only songs in that genre I actually like, and this one is no exception.

In a roundabout way, I kind of feel this way about my own mother. Not the more romantic parts obviously, but the feeling distant and disconnected. Though we practically live together my relationship with her still feels distant, hence it’s almost an appropriate choice for the holiday despite my general distaste for it.

With that I present you Poison’s classic power ballad “Every Rose Has Its Thorn” written by¬†Bret Michaels, C.C. DeVille, Bobby Dall, and¬†Rikki Rockett:

We both lie silently still in the dead of the night
Although we both lie close together we feel miles apart inside
Was it something I said or something I did?
Did my words not come out right?
Though I tried not to hurt you
Though I tried
But I guess that’s why they say

Every rose has its thorn
Just like every night has its dawn
Just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song
Every rose has its thorn

Yeah it does

I listen to our favorite song playing on the radio
Hear the DJ say love’s a game of easy come and easy go
But I wonder does he know?
Has he ever felt like this?
And I know that you’d be here right now
If I could have let you know somehow
I guess

Every rose has its thorn
Just like every night has its dawn
Just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song
Every rose has its thorn

Yeah it does

Though it’s been a while now
I can still feel so much pain
Like a knife that cuts you the wound heals
But the scar, that scar remains

I know I could have saved a love that night if I’d known what to say
Instead of makin’ love we both made our separate ways
And now I hear you found somebody new
And that I never meant that much to you
To hear that tears me up inside
And to see you cuts me like a knife
I guess

Every rose has its thorn
Just like every night has its dawn
Just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song
Every rose has its thorn

Yeah it does
Source: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/poison/everyrosehasitsthorn.html

That’s a wrap for this week. As usual, I managed to turn something that was supposed to be happy and upbeat into a total downer. Oh well. Sometimes I can’t help but pour the pain I feel deep in my heart into these.